One of the common misconceptions that we are here to shatter today is that dressing sexy and having an attractive appearance amounts to overall attractiveness. Yes, it is true that your looks play a part in the levels of your appeal, but surprisingly that role is minuscule in comparison to other factors, most of which include confidence. Some of the world’s most attractive women do not have that conventional unattainable supermodel type of beauty, but there is something about them that captures the heart of everyone around them, making them completely irresistible. In order to truly understand the ways in which confidence trumps looks, we need to divide and conquer; break down all the reasons and ways in which one exudes confidence and how that sums up to sky-high levels of attractiveness.
Date night confidence
You’ve gotten all dolled up in your sexiest outfit and your incredible makeup, all special for that first date. When the two of you meet, there is a chance that he will be in awe, but a scenario that is more likely to become reality is far from great. Being too dressed up can send the signal that you are trying too hard, and it might actually create a tense situation instead. The goal is to get to know each other in a relaxed setting (and clothes), and be genuinely yourself. When you dress in a way that reflects your personality, and wear minimal, nude makeup, you will feel more relaxed and your confidence will shine through. As Craig Malkin, Ph.D., a Harvard psychologist states: “Self-assured singles smile, flirt, make eye contact and speak with warmth and directness. They make it clear that they’re interested, and we return the favor—we tend to like those who like us (a concept psychologists call reciprocity). Less confident people tend not to do any of this, and of course, achieve the opposite effect. Don’t be constrained and focused on your appearance. Being a great listener, a great conversationalist, witty, funny and flirty and easy-going is far, far more important. The study even goes to say that women who were perceived as less attractive actually ‘got the guy’ simply because they smiled and gave their date the encouragement they needed.
Self-sufficiency is sexy
Believe it or not, people can smell desperation. It’s all about your body language, so you shouldn’t act clingy and needy around your date. When trying to find out how to attract a man you like, you first need to understand that you are enough; you are a great and accomplished person with a wonderful sense of humor; you’re the whole package, and that is attractive. When you exude that you value all the other areas of your life (for example, your job, your family, your friends, your hobbies, etc.), it conveys two things to the man: the first one is that you will value him as well, and the second is that you have a life and interests of your own, which is incredibly sexy and appealing. Men are innately drawn to women who have that elusive quality to them. The lesson – don’t act desperate, you are better than that. For instance, you don’t necessarily have to laugh at every joke a guy tells – that’s one of the telltale signs of desperation. Physical contact is fine, even encouraged. Also, smiling, flirting, the ability to carry on an interesting conversation ‒ these are all signs of confidence. However, there is a wafer-thin line between being flirtatious and overbearing and pushy.
Embracing your flaws
No matter how beautiful we look, we always aspire to the magazine covers-inspired standard of beauty. Yes, the fashion industry and social media are to blame for that, but you are too if you let the images of perfection get to you. So, even though there will always be something we don’t like about ourselves, let’s try an experiment. Embrace your flaws, and try walking into a room like you own it – you are guaranteed to attract positive attention, regardless of what you are wearing. You can wear a simple T-shirt and mom jeans, but if you strut down the street feeling like a goddess, people will pick up on that and heads will turn. Another thing to do to build your sense of self-assurance is to pinpoint the things you like about yourself, and place emphasis on those. Maybe you know that you have pretty hair, lovely skin, good figure or conventional unattainable supermodel type of beauty. Hopefully, you like two or three things about yourself, but one is enough to get started. Then you can wear whatever you want; the point is when you love yourself, everything on you will ooze sexiness, even your pajamas with little hearts on them.
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